From the electronic logs of Galactic Observation Dominion agent #2192, Dr. Squid. BEGIN TRANSMISSION.
Agent #2192 of the Galactic Observation Dominion, codenamed "Dr. Squid", has been assigned to observe the people of Earth, up close, from an unassuming house in suburbia. The good doctor, however, hates his assignment with a passion, and would rather destroy Earth, just to rid himself of the annoyance. He begrudgingly performs his task of interacting with the people of Earth, assisted by his hapless manservant Malachi, a reanimated, Restraining Bolted corpse. Occasionally, his boss, Lord Calimar, shows up to monitor Squid's progress and remind him that he is not amused with Squid's shenanigans.
The Audio Logs of Dr Squid started as a series of written articles on Sawtooth's' DeviantArt page, but became Suddenly Voiced when they enlisted a few fellow voice actors (including ThornBrain from TheMidnightFrogs) and a few local friends, to read them and post the resulting audio on YouTube.
The channel has since been deleted, and the episodes have not been reuploaded anywhere.
Malachi, start the Troping process!
- Aliens Speaking English:"Ah ah ah! You are speaking Standard Galactic. We had it first."
- Alien Abduction: To get test subjects.
- The Alleged Car: Tinsley's car, which goes from being crushed by a transportation pod to being rebuilt by Squid, then driven straight into a tree at top speed.
- Blatant Lies: "Lying. Lots of lying."
- Big "SHUT UP!": Squid to the mob outside his house in episode 10.
- Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: Subverted in Episode 11:Dr Squid: "It's the next day, and we've called in the services of a specialist qualified to provide a [driver's] license. Waiting in the passenger's side of our car is an instructor in the skill of driving these contraptions. An instructor for driving. "Driving instructor". I believe they're referred to as... "transportationados."Malachi: "They're not."
- Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick:
- Episode 10:
Dr Squid: "Greetings, good evening, morning, or snowstorm. Whichever applies to you." - The Cameo: Keroro from Sgt. Frog Abridged appears in episode 10.
- Character Catchphrase: "Can do!" from Mr. Groenendyke. Two by Dr. Squid:
- "Quasars almighty!"
- "This is hardly ideal..."
- Church of Happyology: Averted: Squid is visited by Scientologists themselves in episode 10. And it turns out everything about their religion is real, L. Ron Hubbard is alive (and a conspiratorial racist), and Squid insulted him to his face at a G.O.D. conference.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: Mr. Groenendyke and Hannah.
- Combat Tentacles: Subverted. They can't flip switches.
- Cute Kitten: Spider-cat.
- Drop-In Character: Mr. Groenendyke and Tinsley Limbeck.
- Eldritch Abomination: The dread lord Cosmodar, who apparently sounds like Christopher Walken.
- Embarrassing Nickname: Dr. Squid loathes his codename.
- Fate Worse than Death: As mentioned in Episode 4, being sent to The Planet Of Noxious Fume People.
- 419 Scam: Dr. Squid thinks he's fooling the "Nigerian General" to appear in person to collect, so that he can capture him and use him for ransom.
- Freak Lab Accident: When Spider-cat walks across the console.
- Fun with Acronyms: Galactic Observation Dominion.
- Happy Marriage Charade: Tinsley and Hannah, whose answering machine catches Tinsley as he snaps at Hannah's cloudcuckoolander moment.
- Hilarious Outtakes: From episodes 2, 4, 5, 8, 9, and 11.
- His Name Really Is "Barkeep": Robot.
- Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?: Malachi is very incredulous about it.
- I Need to Go Iron My Dog: Hannah, in a moment of awkwardness."Ding! Oh my, the roast is done. Gotta go!"
- Insistent Terminology:
- It's not a beard; they're his "faceticles".
- From episode 9:
"COMPOUND! Don't you DARE use a pathetically humanoid term such as 'house' to describe my base of operations!" - Large Ham: Dr. Squid.
- Medium Awareness: Heavily lampshaded."Too bad you can't see this, listener, because it really is a sight to behold! My descriptions don't do it justice at all! I can't believe you don't get to see this, because it's astounding! SERIOUSLY!"
- MegaCorp: SmegCo.
- For Inconvenience, Press "1": The hold music is a cover of "Around The World".
- Operator from India: Rajiv.
- "Metaphor" Is My Middle Name"Scarcity is my middle name! Pieter Scarcity Groenendyke! ...or maybe it's Neville."
- No Indoor Voice: Robot.
- The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: Squid doesn't want Cosmodar to destroy Earth, because then he wouldn't get to do so.
- Only Sane Man: Malachi.
- Precision S Strike: By Robot, upon searching the internet for the meaning of "lawsuit".
- Running Gag: They just can't seem to get rid of Spider-cat.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness:
- Episode 11:
Dr Squid: "You'll recall several months back the automaton whose orbital conveyance pod totaled our neighbor lump's automotive apparatus?"Malachi: *Sigh* "Yes, I remember how the robot in the spaceship crushed Mr. Limbeck's car." - Shared Universe: With Sgt. Frog Abridged. Hinted at with Carl's Commodes, made official with Keroro's cameo in Episode 10 and a remark from Giroro in SFA Episode 18.
- Shell-Shocked Veteran: Episode 11 hints at Malachi's traumatic past as a pizza delivery driver.
- Shout-Out:
- He lives in the same universe as, and has had contact with, the Protoss, the Irkens, the Neosapiens, the Gungans, the Jedi, the Imperium of Man...
- He ordered a Thermal Core Buster Starter Package from SmegCo.
- The Carl's Commodes commercials are this to Todd's Toilets from Sgt. Frog Abridged. The second commercial directly references Todd, though in a more Take That! fashion.
- "Genesis Brand POrridge: it'll leave you throbbing!"
- Spider Limbs: Spider-cat.
- The Stinger: Occasionally includes an additional scene or bloopers after the end credits.
- Stock Scream: There is a Wilhelm scream at the end of episode 10, from a huge fight which includes members of the Jedi Council.
- Take That!: Squid rips into L. Ron Hubbard's infamous religion to his face in episode 10.
- Techno Babble: From episode 3."The tachyon anomaly oscillator is still shot, the interface sublimator is leaking in a few places, every time we try to activate the neutron transference module it gives off some thick black smoke, and the molecular omniprocessor is completely scorched."
- Toilet Humor: The Carl's Commodes fake ad spots.
- Unusually Uninteresting Sight:
- Robot's sudden appearance in episode 9, to Squid. Malachi and Tinsley instead react as expected.
Malachi: "'Just' a robot?! It fell out of the sky and nearly squashed us!"Dr. Squid: "Feh! You've seen one atmosphere-breaking pod with a robot inside, and you've seen them all."- Several angry mobs outside Squid's house break into a fight in episode 10. Squid watches for a moment in amusement, then calmly closes the episode with this:
"Yyyep. Feels like Monday to me." - What Does This Button Do?: Switch the visual to stock footage of a badger while a bass line plays in the background, apparently. Or overload the console.