• Date First Aired: 12/03/1996

It's another day at the centre and Brittas is continuing to teach the staff communication skills. Or, to be more specific, body language. He decides to do this through the "matching and mirroring" technique. As he teaches this, something crashes through the roof of the leisure centre. Colin is taken up to see what it is, which turns out to be a giant ice cube.

Meanwhile, Helen is gradually moving her stuff into the centre, taking two plants with her. Some prompting reveals that Helen accidentally sold her house to the US Air Force. Helen thus tries to hide this fact from Brittas, who's convinced that that Helen has brought over her cousins from Tennessee.

Meanwhile, Carole throws a birthday party for Ben in his cupboard. However, two of his friends escape. Colin, seeing them go down a corridor, combined with Gavin suffering from ocular hypertension, helps convince Colin that aliens have decided to take over the centre and that they came from the ice cube. Believing that the aliens have to take over him, Colin proceeds to go a bit cuckoo and decides to hang himself from a coat-hanger. Colin is able to convince Brittas of this fact.

Meanwhile, Helen is able to get the house back after Chuck is sent away due to a diplomatic incident. Talking it over with Carole, she reveals that the ice cube on top of the centre is actually the contents of a toilet tank, which had been accidentally released by Chuck. This reveal comes just as the cube fully melts during its trip into the basement and goes right over Gordon. Oh, and there were aliens after all, in the form of a plant bought in by Helen. It concludes that there's no intelligent life there and warp out in front of a shocked Colin.

Tropes featured in this episode:

• Accidental Pervert: Gavin is accused of molesting a female customer when he pushes her into a pool, although in truth, he was having difficulty seeing and didn't know she was there.
• Alien Episode: The episode centres around Colin believing that aliens were invading the centre. The end of the episode reveals that whilst he was incorrect about an invasion, there was an alien at the centre that day in the form of a potted plant that Helen brought in.
• Alien Invasion: Colin thinks that an alien invasion is happening at the centre, Invasion of the Body Snatchers-style. It turns out to be just a series of coincidences - there was an alien at the centre that day, but it left soon after without having done anything, having become convinced that there was No Intelligent Life Here.
• Aliens in Cardiff: An Alien Invasion and it's been chosen to go to Whitbury. Colin suggests that it's because they want Brittas' leadership skills in particular, although this is disproven when it turns out that there's no invasion at all. That said, there was an alien there that day, although why they chose to go to Whitbury is unclear.
• Ambiguous Syntax: When Helen asks Colin where Brittas is, Colin replies with the response "He's in the restroom giving a fascinating talk about your body". Whilst Colin means to refer to body language in general, Helen's confused response indicates that she thinks that he's talking about her body in general.
• Apophenia Plot: Colin is convinced that there are aliens in the centre due to a string of unrelated coincidences (namely a giant ice cube crashing into the centre, two of Ben's friends, who are wearing costumes, escaping from Ben's cupboard, Gavin suffering from ocular hypertension, and a poor choice of words from everyone).
• Birthday Episode: Carole throws Ben a birthday party in his cupboard. Played With in that it's actually not Ben's birthday that day, it's just the day that Carole has decided to throw the party.
• Blind Mistake: Gavin makes some errors due to his difficulties seeing and ends up pushing a woman into the pool.
• Boys Like Creepy Critters: Carole sets up a birthday party for Ben themed around ugly bugs.
  Carole: Ben is so looking forward to it. It's fancy dress.
  Penny: Oh, lovely. Any particular theme?
  Carole: Oh yes. It's an ugly bug ball. I've sown Ben into a pillowcase. He's going as a chrysalis. He's in there pupating at the moment.
  [[Penny has a horrified expression on her face]]
• Canis Latinicus: Colin identifies one of the houseplants that Helen brings in as a sample of Somnium Senorum (Latin for "Dream of the Old").
• Chairman of the Brawl: When Colin thinks that Gavin has been processed by an alien, he takes one of Helen's chairs and threatens him out of the centre with it.
• Chekhov's Gunman: When Helen starts moving her stuff into the Leisure Centre, the item given the most focus is a houseplant that she bought at a market. This comes into play when it is revealed to be a plant-like alien.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Colin believes that aliens have taken over the centre, so he hangs himself on a coat hanger to protect himself.
• Continuity Nod: Brittas manages to push Mrs Boscombe hard enough that she destroys a wall, alluding to the increased strength he had gained after being rebuilt. Additionally, Julie is still having the Wacky Cravings she had shown that episode, as evidenced by her eating on pieces of paper.
• Gainax Ending: This episode has perhaps one of the strangest endings in the series when, after an entire episode of alien-related misunderstandings, a houseplant reveals itself as an actual alien and beams itself up in front of Colin.
• The Ghost:
  • Mrs Boscombe, the woman who Brittas pushed down the stairs and apparently crippled.
  • Chuck and Nancy, two people from the US Air Force who have come to take the Brittas family's house.
• Mirror Routine: Brittas' "Matching and Mirroring" technique, where he constantly replicates the movements of the other members of the staff, up to and including Colin hanging himself on a coat-hanger.
• Mistaken for Aliens:
  • At one point, Colin glimpses two strange creatures going down the hallway, so he naturally thinks they're aliens. In truth, it's Sophie and Fergus, two of Ben's friends who are currently in costume for his birthday party.
  • Colin is led to believe an object which resembles a giant block of ice is in fact an alien, taking over everyone and giving birth. In reality, it is nothing more than frozen excretion, which was mistakenly dropped by the US Air Force.
• Mondegreen Gag:
  • Julie mishears Brittas' technique of "anchoring" as "hankering", causing Brittas to have to correct her.
  • Brittas also mishears "exorcise" as "exercise" when Linda suggests it as a way to calm down Colin.
• No Intelligent Life Here: A houseplant that turns out to be an alien says this word-for-word in a subtitle before warping away.
• Non-Residential Residence: Helen is forced to move into the leisure centre after selling her house.
  Helen: That was the American Air Force. We've got the house back! All the furniture can go!
  Carole: Oh, that's a shame. I was just getting used to having neighbours.
• Noodle Incident:
  • As seen in the page quote, Brittas once accidentally pushed an elderly woman down the stairs, making her wheelchair-bound, after she used the disabled toilets.
  • Exactly how Helen sold her house to the US Air Force is unclear. Apparently, it started with an "Are You Undervalued?" leaflet being dropped through the mailbox, and at one point involved a charming man coming around with an American colonel, but Helen described the rest as simply one thing leading to another.
  • Brittas once had to close the pool for six months when it was found to be carrying rats with Weil's disease.
• No Sympathy: Brittas doesn't appear to be bothered at all by the fact that he accidentally led a woman into falling down the stairs and caused her to have to use a wheelchair, attempting to defend his actions before simply telling the staff that she's now able to use the disabled facilities if she ever returned to the centre with said wheelchair.
• Obstructive Bureaucrat: Brittas choses to do absolutely nothing (beyond designating it as a contaminated area) about the weird smell emanating from the sauna, as it is under Penny's jurisdiction and therefore no longer within his terms of reference.
• Out-of-Context Eavesdropping: Colin's belief that aliens are invading the centre are not helped by the fact that he keeps hearing sentences from the others which he never gets to hear the full context of. For example, Gavin has an argument with Tim regarding the fact that he's trying to work with a case of ocular hypertension, but Colin only manages to overhear Gavin's concluding statement of "In a couple of hours, everything will look perfectly normal and nobody will be any the wiser", making him think that Gavin is being possessed by an alien with evil plans.
• A Planet Named Zok: When Colin tells Gavin about his belief that the ice cube came from outer space, Gavin tells Colin that he doubts it came from Planet Zarg.
• Plant Aliens: The houseplant which Helen had bought in turns out to have been an intelligent alien all along.
• Primp of Contempt: Penny starts filing her nails during Brittas' body language module, helping to emphasise how much she doesn't want to be there and that she would much rather be off running her sauna.
• Real After All: Colin spends the duration of the episode believing that aliens not only exist but are about to invade the centre due to a series of misunderstandings. At the end of the episode, however, it is revealed that a plant brought in by Helen was actually an alien. It concludes that there is No Intelligent Life Here and warps out in front of a shocked Colin.
• Reassigned to Antarctica: Chuck is reassigned to Beirut for the diplomatic incident of accidentally dropping the frozen contents of a toliet out of a plane on top of the Leisure Centre.
• Relatively Flimsy Excuse: Helen is able to convince Brittas that Chuck and Nancy are actually her cousins from Tennessee in a bid to not tell him that she accidentally sold the house.
• Riddle for the Ages: How did an alien houseplant end up in the Brittas' household and why was it on Earth in the first place? Regarding the former, Helen reckons she bought it at a market, but admits that it was just a guess.
• Right for the Wrong Reasons: Colin was actually correct when he believed that there were aliens in the centre, but it wasn't in the form of a giant ice cube like he thought it was, but rather a houseplant.
• Shout-Out:
  • Colin thinks that the strange ice cube is invading like in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
  • The alien plant says in a subtitle "Beam Me Up" before warping out of the centre.
• Sick Episode: Gavin spends the episode suffering from a case of ocular hypertension, leading to disaster.
• Staircase Tumble: It's mentioned in a Noodle Incident that Brittas once crippled an elderly lady by accidentally pushing her down the stairs.
• Swallow the Key: Colin swallows the key when he hangs himself from a coathanger and locks himself in. Luckily, he has a gippy tummy at the time, allowing the key to pass through quickly.
• Themed Party: The theme for Ben's party is an "ugly bug ball", with the guests in costume as various insects that are not considered pleasant. Ben is going as a chrysalis (the costume having been made by Carole sewing him into a pillow case), whilst one of the guests is a woodlouse.
• Toilet Humour: The giant ice cube turns out to be frozen piss and other excrete, which ends up splashing all over Brittas.
• You Watch Too Much X: When Colin puts forward his idea to Gavin that the giant ice cube may have come from outer space, Gavin disagrees and tells Colin that he's been watching too many sci-fi films.
  Colin: Only, if it is actually from outer space, it might not be such a good idea in smashing it up and putting it in the bin.
  Gavin: Well, alright then, but look, it's nothing from the planet Zarg or anything like that. You've been watching too many science fiction films.
• Working Through the Cold: Gavin tries to work through his case of ocular hypertension, much to the annoyance and concern of Tim. It doesn't end well for him - he ends up pushing someone into the pool.