Hello friends, a week ago I decided to try something losely based on Dr. Fadiman's study which motivated /u/tossed_hither for his experiment as well. I dissolved one of Jannis' yinyang dolphin 130µg tabs in 20ml dest. H2O to give me a 6.5µg/ml solution and I planned on 13µg (2ml) each morning after waking up. On two occasions I took 20µg (3ml).
I have a history of major depression, addiction and all these fun things and have discussed this with my therapist. Here's what I have gathered from my notes after 8 days:
While the dose might not be threshold for classic psychedelic effects, I have no doubt that it is not placebo. I have tried 20µg and it starts to become slightly more psychedelic. 10-20µg seems to be perfect.
No mydriasis. Slight texture morphing on 20µg but that might have been my ever so slight HPPD. The intensity is comparable to coffee. Time dilation seems to be present. Days feel longer.
Mood and motivation is above average. Everything seems a little better. A sunny day is a little more sunny, leaves blowing in the wind are an incredibly complex motion and very beautiful. These little things start to become sources of happiness when they were previously ignored. I feel a drive to do and achieve things, I act more and think less. At the end every day seems like it was a particularly good one. As a result my depression is pretty much gone.
My thinking seems more structured and I feel more precise in how to translate my thoughts into speech. My concentration is higher and that nagging voice that has doubts all the time and wants to correct everything is a little more muted. Reading is simplified. All in all, this aspect is very similar to a low dose of amphetamine without the speediness.
Empathy is increased strongly. I'm a little too emotional at mundane things, which would be the main reason against continuing the experiment, and on multiple occasions I almost started crying in public given all the suffering around me. This is an extremely therapeutic experience in a way for me as an introvert, and for the past 2 days I have been actively looking for people around me because the solitude makes me so sad. For reference MDMA gives me none of that.
There's no peak and comedown, you notice a slight shift in perception once it hits, then that persists for the rest of the day and well into the next, in fact taking a day off doesn't seem to take away much of the effects.
After a while you get kind of used to it. I'm not much into metaphysics, but I seem to be more aware of these things.. sensing auras, looking at people once and understanding their whole being, sending love telepathically, experiences of unity. There was a strange occurence that I have no logical explanation for when my attention was turned twice onto something that would happen in the future.. and it did. These things mess with my head a little as I'm unsure how to process these new information.
No tolerance seems to build. If anything the effects seem to get stronger.
I can highly recommend it, the therapeutic value is immense for such a small dose. I have tried a variety of substances and this has been the best antidepressant so far for me. It doesn't feel numb like SSRIs, it's not speedy like amphetamines, it seems like it steers your thoughts in a more positive direction and you're the one doing all the therapy by realizing all the stuff you've been missing out on.
I have two doses left and I am currently not sure if I should continue after those. I think it would help in consolidating this new state of mind, as I fear falling back into old patterns if I stop now. Will be discussing this with my therapist tomorrow.
Anyway AMA!
Want to add to the discussion?
Post a comment!