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[–][deleted] 849 points850 points  (537 children)

This is my worst nightmare! What part of the body did they work on, and what was the most painful part?

[–]ohnozombees[S] 1048 points1049 points  (527 children)

They were working on my left ankle. If you feel where your Achilles Tendon is, and the bone under that? That's what they were working on--and it's definitely a toss up. The first incision was the worst pain-wise, but the horror of hearing a bone saw coming for you and being unable to move/cry out/scream was pretty bad.

[–][deleted] 428 points429 points  (327 children)

Could you at least blink?

[–]ohnozombees[S] 886 points887 points  (309 children)

Nope! Fully paralyzed, and even if I had, I was on my stomach, so they wouldn't have seen anyways.

Aint that a pisser, eh?

[–]dan3659 653 points654 points  (295 children)

Didnt your heart rate spike?

What about you BP? Was there no physiological response to the pain that was noticeable to the Doctors?

[–]azurleaf 440 points441 points  (90 children)

I really hope OP answers this. I recall a topic in an r/askscience thread about this, and someone mentioned something about 'While you can't scream, your body still would.', and that a good anesthesiologist would notice the spike in heart rate.

[–]ze8 405 points406 points  (62 children)

They would

Her anesthesiologist just wasn't very good. It actually happens fairly often.

Patient in the place i was working in last year had a similar thing. They were doing an exploratory Laparotomy and made comments about how she was fucked etc as surgeons do (they found a massive bowel tumour with multiple mets). When she woke up she told everyone i heard everything and I'm going to sue you.

[–]Corticotropin 105 points106 points  (44 children)

Did she survive? O_o

also, how is that lawsuit material?

[–]scomperpotamus 323 points324 points  (6 children)

"I was awake and could feel everything during the surgery and the anesthesiologist just didn't bother to notice."

I'm not a huge fan of lawsuits, but I would say thats pretty legit lawsuit material.

[–]dirtroadwarrior 77 points78 points  (9 children)

In that the people in the OR didn't pay enough attention and let her get in that state.

And that's the default go to when you think a medical professional had fucked up.

OTOH, everything I've read about this has stated it tends to fuck you up in the head pretty bad.

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points  (7 children)

Right. I think the way the other person wrote it made it sound like she was threatening to sue because of the "she's fucked" comment. -- Because of the "i heard everything you said and I'm going to sue you" part.

But that seems kind of stupid. Suing for not being completely under on the other hand, that's pretty solid.

[–]rahtin 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Being tortured tends to do that.

[–]smelgibson 62 points63 points  (4 children)

The anesthesiologist failed to do the job that she was hired to do. By breaching her duty to the patient, she caused damage to the patient by having the patient stay awake/feel the pain/be unable to communicate said pain due to temporary paralysis. Furthermore, the anesthesiologist failed to monitor the client's heart rate spike as mentioned above. It is important to remember that the patient is agreeing to be operated on under the condition that the anesthesiologist properly performs their job.

[–]ohnozombees[S] 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Actually, since I was given a paralytic, the full body was paralyzed--even the autosomal responses like lachrimation, heart rate, etc. the second that the paralytic wore off, though, I was screaming. Which must have scared them--previously quiet patient starts shrieking her head off, crying and screaming that she was awake?

I'm sure the other patients were NOT loving me that day.

[–]Im_In_You 10 points11 points  (2 children)

It actually happens fairly often.

Ok, I never ever going to a hospital ever now.

[–]cattaclysmic 44 points45 points  (10 children)

Yea, in my country you have an anesthesiologist or a nurse constantly monitoring this. Also making sure you have the appropriate mix of drugs injected consistently.

[–]eluusive 30 points31 points  (1 child)

That's supposed to be true in the United States as well.

[–][deleted] 111 points112 points  (19 children)

Anesthetist here. The body does respond to stimulation under anesthesia. Some people are on medication for their blood pressure that will prevent it from happening though. So in other words this can happen. The worst thing to do after a case of awareness is deny that it happened. It happens VERY infrequently . The people that are at highest risk are pregnant women having emergency c sections trauma patients and cardiac surgery. Oh and people on beta blockers. Still very rare though. I'm sorry for your experience OP. It is a horrifying one. I'm glad your talking about it cause people need to believe you not deny your experience.

[–]notlikeme 199 points200 points  (125 children)

When I woke up during abdominal surgery, my heart rate and blood pressure spiked. I couldn't move, but I could feel everything. The doctors continued on. They told me that they knew I had woken up, but they were almost done anyway. To me, it seemed like an eternity. It was the worst pain I had ever felt. I can't even describe what it felt like. Unfortunately, I have no proof that this happened.

[–]cthulhushrugged 131 points132 points  (120 children)

As terrible as that must have been, there wasn't much of an option for the surgeons. Okay, the patient appears to have been feeling pain and heartrate is spiking... are they to, what, stop the surgery? Early on, maybe... but if the major operations are or are near completion, there could only be more harm then good inflicted by leaving the remainder undone.

[–]FreyjaSunshine 227 points228 points  (39 children)

We do give more drugs under that circumstance. At the very least, an amnestic. Stopping surgery almost never happens, unless there's an event like cardiac arrest.

Source: I've been an anesthesiologist for 23 years.

[–]komali_2 182 points183 points  (26 children)

A simple "hey man, we're pretty sure you're awake right now, and feeling pain. There's not much we can do about it right now and I'll explain why after the surgery. For now we need to finish up, and when this is all over you better believe you're getting all the ice cream this hospital's got" would suffice

[–]not_legally_rape 85 points86 points  (25 children)

Or better yet, "We think you're awake, we have an anathesiologist running in here as fast as he can with a mother lode of drugs."

[–]Jacques_R_Estard 90 points91 points  (18 children)

If you are under general anaesthesia and there isn't an anaesthesiologist in the room, something is really really wrong...

[–]Rprzes 24 points25 points  (6 children)

There are many different types of anesthesia. NMB (neuromuscular blocking agents) are paralytics. You also have sedatives, analgesics. Then there are other inductions medications used to prevent complications/side effects (such as lidocaine). The documents state, "general anesthesia" but without knowing which specific agents were used, what signs/symptoms were available may be limited.

I, personally, have had a patient on the maximum dosage of propofol, upright, writing on a piece of paper, while intubated. I like to call it the "awake sign".

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points  (9 children)

When I monitored pets under anesthesia, I could tell how deep they were under [what stage] by looking at the position on their eyes in the sockets, the reflexes presents and the heart and respiration rate. In addition, tremendous pain causes shock thus, changes in the color of the mucous membranes etc.

I monitored animals during bone surgery we always gave an anesthetic agent that specifically fought pain versus other anesthetics that only kept them from consciousness and the ability to move.

Did the anesthesiologist even monitor the heart rate ,resp. rate, mm color etc? At least I knew if the heart rate went up or was high that there was something that needed attending. Are they so far from the patient that they would not sense such a problem? I kept my hands on them if I could not see then directly due to draping. Mysterious.

One reason I can think of for not paying much attention to pain would be if the patient was highly vulnerable --a high risk of death due to physiological depression due to other reasons like organ failure, anemia/blood loss, being in shock before anesthesia, head/neurological injuries/dz. etc.

I'm confused as to how the heart rate would not go up if all they had working to keep them under was a paralyzing agent or a gas agent that has light pain reduction.

Very scary if this happens that often -and there is no way to tell if this phenomena was happening or the person had a tendency to not respond typically to certain anesthetic agents.

[–]soyabstemio 233 points234 points  (11 children)

You could have shat on them - I guess?

[–]Tonks3 90 points91 points  (9 children)

Shit definitely would have been shat by me if I was in this scenario, although I don't think you would have even been able to do that considering she couldn't even blink or such. Damn, this gives me the creeps.

[–]zirdante 74 points75 points  (16 children)

You cant blink, because they have given you medicine that paralyzes your muscle-nerve pathways. And we can only look for physiological sighns of feeling pain/being awake, ie. pulse getting higher, tears coming from eyes, EEG showing increased activity.

[–]smempem 47 points48 points  (10 children)

Is it common to notice it hasn't worked?

[–]PurelyForUpvotesBro 40 points41 points  (3 children)

And furthermore, why wasn't it noticed in this case?

[–]noxn22 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I see... Any idea how much the anaesthetic would effect heart rate? I was thinking surely in cases like this an unusually elevated heart rate would be a pretty good sign.... But I know next to nothing about anaesthetics, apart from that they can be quite fickle.

[–][deleted] 83 points84 points  (181 children)

When I was really young, maybe 8-10, I recall having a cold/flu and falling asleep on the couch, only to wake up and find that I couldn't move a muscle aside from the ones related to screams for help. To this day, I have no idea what caused it (maybe someone does?), but I can imagine how much worse it would have been to get cut into as well. Absolutely nightmarish... :(

Edit: Thanks to all those who responded. That really clears things up.

[–]backbank 289 points290 points  (104 children)

Sleep paralysis. Look it up. It's surprisingly common.

[–]Euphorium 108 points109 points  (94 children)

I've got it, it's absolutely terrifying. I woke up once and thought a dark figure was over my bed. I tried to scream but couldn't.

[–]Ramblingpirate 78 points79 points  (64 children)

Common among people who suffer sleep paralysis. I only ever started getting them after I particularly rough patrol. Mine are always a dark shadowy creature crouch on my chest to where I can't move because it's impossibly heavy and someone is screaming. You never stop being scared when it happens, are at least I haven't, bit you learn that if you concentrate enough on moving your finger you can eventually move again and the dark shadowy shit disappears.

[–]p_iynx 88 points89 points  (31 children)

I hold my breath. It was a tip from my narcoleptic friend. It causes your brain to snap awake because of oxygen deprivation or something? Idk. But your body is very well-equipped to deal with self-suffocation so I think you either wake fully up or pass out. It always works for me!

[–]maxstryker 7 points8 points  (12 children)

Didn't know that one. I've had sleep paralysis or mora - as the local Croatian folkrolore would call both the condition and the creature that apparently sits on your chest, every now and then when I was younger. I discovered that I can will myself to move, but that it is incredibly hard. Can be done though. Ince your body gets that first stimulus from the initial motion, it's like a ship breaking free of a tractor beam.

[–]Ramblingpirate 4 points5 points  (8 children)

I'd love to hear more of this croation folklore. And yes, that's exactly how mine it. It takes literally every ounce of concentration I have to get some eye movement, then right right index finger, and then it starts getting easier from there. I've never thought of holding my breath either. That's a bit genius, scientifically speaking. The body has a very specific neural pathway to wake you up from even the deepest sleep when it senses you aren't breathing.

Source: my little sister had sleep apnea as a kid and would constantly wake up in terror because her body thought she was choking. Interesting thing, the brain.

[–]MyLifeInRage_ 9 points10 points  (2 children)

You do stop being scared. Understanding that you are currently in an episode and willing yourself to move those fingers is the first step. Eventually you are able to be more calm once you realise it and wake easier. I've reached a state where I'm better at controlling my dreams now due to this conditioning and you can actually have a good time with them (but you do have to wake from the paralysis, you can't really get rid of that and still be asleep, you need to wake yourself up before you go back to sleep).

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (2 children)

That's the incubus.

[–]mh1563 36 points37 points  (46 children)

Sleep paralysis is a bitch. It happens to me at least once or twice a week and it's been happening for at least 5 years.

[–]Nobody_home 7 points8 points  (28 children)

What do you do, try to fall back asleep or just wait for it to wear off?

[–]mh1563 24 points25 points  (26 children)

Well, my first thought is "fuck, it's happening again" and then I remind myself that none of what I'm seeing or hearing it's real. The hallucinations usually involve other people being in my room (I live alone). Sometimes I try to wake up and other times I just wait for it to wear off.

[–][deleted]  (19 children)

[deleted]

    [–]ch3nnny 13 points14 points  (6 children)

    Yeah I used to have sleep paralysis a lot, I ended up being able to break it by trying to move my right hand really hard and then when I was able to move my finger a bit, I wud kinda spasm my spine and everything else would move at the same time.

    [–]frothyloins 211 points212 points  (78 children)

    You've stated that the first incision was the worst pain-wise, but during the entire 2 and a half hours did you ever become desensitized to the pain at all? Have you reached the statute of limitations for legal action?

    This is my worst nightmare.

    Have you tried writing down your entire experience in detail? I dunno if that would be therapeutic or not.

    [–]ohnozombees[S] 356 points357 points  (77 children)

    I have passed the statute. It's two years, and it's been longer. The problem there, though, is that noone at the time anticipated how badly the PTSD would go, and even training a service dog alone is anywhere from $3500-$20,000. And then there's the psych bills for therapy and the rest... It's expensive being crazy

    [–][deleted]  (40 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]BelievesItsNotButter 58 points59 points  (32 children)

      As someone suffering from a mental illness (which is unfortunately extremely stigmatized even on Reddit), I've found the general stigma in Canada to be largely similar to the States. Counseling services and other things to do with mental health are also not covered under our national healthcare.

      [–]SamTarlyLovesMilk 8 points9 points  (9 children)

      Counseling services and other things to do with mental health are also not covered under our national healthcare.

      At all?

      In the UK, the NHS does cover mental health treatment but psychiatrists say there is still a similar bias against investing in mental health services. The availability of care has been quite strongly criticised recently.

      [–]etomidator 567 points568 points  (249 children)

      I'm a practising Anaesthetist, and this is something I worry about every day. Luckily I've only ever seen it once, and that was someone else's patient. I'm curious as to what kind of anaesthetic they were using - was it gas, or a propofol infusion? And did you ever go to sleep and then wake up (so, for example, were you awake when they put the tube in?), or were there any parts where you drifted in or out or consciousness? Thanks for doing this AMA!

      [–]ohnozombees[S] 634 points635 points  (218 children)

      As it so happens, I have my medical records on me. (I tried to do this thread last month and got harassed terribly and called a liar etc for having crappy proof, so this time I brought it!)

      http://tinypic.com/r/dq66gh/5

      http://tinypic.com/r/35n1s8n/5

      Hopefully that helps!

      I did, yes. I remember joking with the nurses to be careful when they turned me over, since it was a full moon; and then I stared up at the night and all the doctors arrayed. I stared counting back, and slipped out at 95,

      And then, I woke up.

      And no, I was present-- though there were parts where I was more lucid from the pain. I wouldn't say I drifted out of consciousness, but, I definitely checked out a couple times.

      [–]eeeking 80 points81 points  (6 children)

      The note says "v. traumatized" :-(

      [–]jakielim 452 points453 points  (172 children)

      Reddit "vigilantes" are always terrible at "calling out" "fakes". Sorry for that.

      [–]lordjeebus 133 points134 points  (122 children)

      For what it's worth, most stories of anesthetic awareness on Reddit are not convincing (although this one sounds convincing). I'm an anesthesiologist.

      For instance, if someone had wisdom tooth surgery, it almost always is the story of someone who thought they were going to get a general anesthetic, but did not actually get that, because general anesthesia for wisdom teeth removal is rare. Same with eye surgery, although there is a greater chance of a general anesthetic there.

      If someone mentions seeing something, that is not consistent with anesthetic awareness as eyes are taped shut during general anesthesia, and there is usually a drape between the patient's face and the operating field. If someone mentions saying something, this is also not consistent as a patient under general anesthesia almost always has a device like an endotracheal tube or an LMA which would prevent speaking. Reaching for things is also unlikely as arms are usually strapped down to prevent injury. Such cases are more likely patients recalling normal anesthetic emergence, when it is possible that the mind-altering drugs are affecting their perception of what is going on.

      [–]frog_licker 41 points42 points  (58 children)

      Wait, General anesthetic for wisdom teeth is rare? I guess I lucked out because I got nitrous for like 20 minutes while I was chatting you the nurse, then got general anesthetic right before they began. Then afterwards, the oral surgeon gave me a scrpt for the good stuff (not the really good stuff, but generic for percocet 7.5s). Granted, they had to go digging for my 4 teeth, but it sounds like I just got the hookup.

      [–]FreyjaSunshine 14 points15 points  (9 children)

      Just because you were not aware of what was going on, that isn't necessarily general anesthesia. Loss of protective airway reflexes is really what distinguishes GA from sedation. Also, if you get midazolam, you can be awake and just not remember anything.

      [–]ShallowBasketcase 459 points460 points  (33 children)

      Reddit "vigilantes" are always terrible at "calling out" "fakes"

      You got a source for that, you liar!

      [–]jakielim 222 points223 points  (31 children)

      http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1pajkl/iama_anaesthesia_awareness_survivor_ama/cd0hz0f

      [–]ShallowBasketcase 175 points176 points  (4 children)

      Well shit.

      [–]jakielim 68 points69 points  (3 children)

      Depressing, isn't it?

      [–]Tr0user 103 points104 points  (3 children)

      I wish I could explain how stupid what you just said is but regrettably I don't have time, patience, or crayon right now.

      Its a shame we don't often get to see burns like this, being as they are, buried under hundreds of downvotes.

      [–]Catan_mode 47 points48 points  (15 children)

      As horrible as this person went about it, it is extremely common for people to have stories about being conscious during surgery. Patients are in a state of disassociative analgesia. In this dreamlike state people will swear that they were awake and could feel, when in fact it was just a realistic dream.

      Anesthesiologists use multiple drugs to induce unconsciousness, eliminate pain, manage swelling etc, so its not a matter of being "resistant" to one of the sedatives. Propofol, IV Codeine, Sevoflurane, Desflurane, Isoflurane, sometimes all used in one procedure.

      I'm not saying that OP is faking, not all of these occurrences are faked. But people have successfully sued in the past for this, so there is a significant financial incentive to do so.

      [–]jakielim 50 points51 points  (10 children)

      Yeah, many instances of AA are imagined or dreamed. However OP did provide necessary proofs, heard the doctor mention golf scores, and vividly described the pain and experience, not to mention suffering from PTSD. So I believe that there is more than enough reason to believe OP.

      [–]Cryoglobulin 29 points30 points  (8 children)

      Actually the most important proof is the anesthetic record, which will help us answer why the anethesiologist did not respond. She remembers the intubation which is with likely propofol for anesthetic induction as well as the whole surgery which was likely maintened with inhalational anesthetic and opioids. To be resistant to three completely different classes of anesthetics is very rare. Also we are going on her word that the surgeon talked about golf and turned concrete when confronted. I am not saying op is lying, I think anesthetic awareness is very real. However, especially in court, the anesthetic record is the most important piece of evidence.

      [–]Sparcrypt 24 points25 points  (0 children)

      Yeah.. I remember a particular guy who I'd see in every AMA, same comment "I think you're full of shit, prove me wrong."

      I mean really.. nothing better to do? If you really don't believe it, downvote the AMA and move on. It's words on the internet that you'll have forgotten in a month. Calm down.

      [–]etomidator 50 points51 points  (2 children)

      I'm sorry you've gone through that. There's a large number of people with awareness who never tell their doctors because they are worried about not being believed, and it does make it much harder to get assistance and explanations and start the process of moving on. 2008 was around the time it was starting to get much more attention both in the media and from Anaesthetists in general, I'd be incredibly disappointed if you still had to fight huge battles getting medical professionals to take it seriously these days.

      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Do you have the anesthesia record? that looks like the pacu evaluation. doesn't say what you were given during the procedure.

      [–]AsthmaticHummingbird 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      I have a quick question for you, since you'll probably be able to answer it better than OP.

      I had a similar experience when I was seven, when I had surgery on my ear drum. I was awake and listening to everything the nurses and doctor were talking about, but I don't recall being in any pain. Why is this?

      They didn't believe me at first until I explained their conversation in detail, and how I saw my toy fall on the floor and a nurse picked it up. They all looked at each other in concern and asked if I felt anything, and I told them I did not.

      I had this happen one other time when I had my wisdom teeth removed, but I could feel most of the pain during that procedure. Apparently they need to give me higher doses or something.

      [–]tuframnedox 385 points386 points  (151 children)

      Do you harbor any ill will toward the medical team? Any nightmares, flashbacks or continuing mental or emotional trauma?

      [–]ohnozombees[S] 631 points632 points  (150 children)

      A little, but only for the anaesthesiologist. I really wish he'd been more thorough with the checks-- I don't know quite what went wrong, but damn did he ever phone it in that day.

      [–]kingbane 287 points288 points  (136 children)

      is it really the anesthesiologist making a mistake? or were you just resistant to that particular anesthetic. i wonder how they would figure out that the anesthetic wasn't working.

      [–]PasDeDeux 456 points457 points  (132 children)

      It's actually a really complex issue. It's not like the anesthesiologist just presses a couple buttons and leaves the patient on auto-pilot.

      There's a thing called a "BIS monitor" that's now used by some anesthesiologists, but the problem is that it doesn't necessarily mean anything and it's debated as to whether it's useful--people at my institution don't tend to use it; when they do, it's taken skeptically.

      AA (Anesthesia awareness) is a rare but surprisingly common complaint; validated, "true" AA is much more rare. 0.1 to 0.001% or so. Some people may remember immediately pre- or post- op events, which can be painful; these memories can be interpreted as being "awake" during the case. On the other hand, some patients may be afraid to talk about such a traumatizing experience.

      AA is not always malpractice. Part of the problem is that the other signs of "awareness" are mostly related to vital signs, which can have the same changes as a result of surgery, even when properly "under." Movement is treated with increased paralytics, so that's not a good sign, either.

      There's also the problem that we don't actually know the mechanisms behind the amnesic agents. If someone is "awake" for parts of the case, they still shouldn't really remember anything, but it's possible that they didn't get the dose they needed to forget everything.

      Additionally, many anesthesia agents also are analgesic. Many surgeons use local (or have anesthesia set up regional) anesthesia, as well (in other words, lidocaine/epidural), so there shouldn't be significant pain in those cases.

      Edits for some clarity/accuracy.
Edit 2: Some of the replies correctly pointed out that I poorly characterized the frequency of AA. 
    By "surprisingly common" I meant "not as unheardof as you might think," 
    but it is, as correctly pointed out, overall very rare and usually a "false positive." 
    (pre or post-op memories.) 
    The incidence of "false positive" AA is why it's a common report.
Edit 3: Quantitatively characterized AA. Added a section on local/regional anesthesia.

      [–]BaLLiSToPHoBiC 176 points177 points  (23 children)

      How was the intubation? The breathing tube?

      [–]ohnozombees[S] 394 points395 points  (22 children)

      The absolute goddamn worst. It felt like I was choking and gagging and it hurt. I have a new respect for sword swallowers.

      [–]bacon_catz_karma 725 points726 points  (11 children)

      and pornstars. dont forget the pornstars.

      [–]LuitenantDan 163 points164 points  (7 children)

      Freud would argue that's what he meant.

      [–][deleted]  (22 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]ohnozombees[S] 391 points392 points  (21 children)

        I do! I developed PTSD afterwards, and do have all the classical symptoms. If there's anyone I feel bad for, it's my housemates. I occasionally wake them up with them---if I flop onto my stomach (the surgery position), for example.

        And thanks! It was awfully crappy.

        [–]kathartik 112 points113 points  (13 children)

        I've developed PTSD from some time in hospital myself (4 months, also in Ontario here!) but not from anything quite like that... horrible nightmares, and seeing or hearing the wrong thing just sets me off... hope you get better with time :)

        all my surgeries were ones they kept me awake for, but the nurses had neglected to give me any anaesthesia - the doctor came in and tore them a strip up one side and down the other since it was right in my chart, as I was just laying there in tears the whole time while they were talking about their kids soccer game

        but again, nowhere near the nightmare scenario you went through

        [–]mynameisalso 40 points41 points  (2 children)

        I feel bad this is happening to you, but better that I'm not the only one. I'd wake up screaming and punching. When you're 6'4" and 265# it's really dangerous. I eventually started sleeping on the couch, I was afraid of seriously injuring my wife.

        [–]BANISHEDinKANSAS 526 points527 points  (133 children)

        During the operation could you hear the doctors I've always been curious since seeing the movie awake and what was the reaction of the doctors after you did come too? I'm sorry you endured what I imagine was a very traumatic experience thank you for doing this AMA

        [–]ohnozombees[S] 1765 points1766 points  (132 children)

        I could! The lead surgeon actually spent some time talking about his golf scores--and for some reason, that stuck with me. Well, when I came to I was super agitated (enough that it ended up in the medical notes, as you can see). And I started screaming "I can feel it! I could feel it I was AWAKE!", so they called the doctor. The nurses tried to tell me it was just a bad trip from the morphine, and in my anger and panic, I looked at the doctor and snarled, "You -suck- at golf!"

        He'd talked about that about halfway through, so it wasn't anything I could have known otherwise. I have never seen someone go the colour of concrete before or since.

        And yeah, it was pretty shitty and I'm still dealing with the PTSD from it, but hopefully this'll be therapeutic! You're very welcome.

        [–]element_of_supplies 1192 points1193 points  (18 children)

        "You -suck- at golf!"

        I can't imagine what the surgeon must have thought.

        "Holy fucking shit oh my god holy shit fuck shit shit shit fuck "

        If I realized I just made someone feel that much pain I would be so distressed forever, and if it was my fault (as the anaesthesiologist) it would be 100x worse

        [–]ShallowBasketcase 787 points788 points  (10 children)

        "Holy fucking shit oh my god holy shit fuck shit shit shit fuck now everyone knows I suck at golf! "

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]cam18_2000 109 points110 points  (4 children)

          Ex golfer here, its a safe assumption that everyone sucks at golf, especially doctors.

          [–]Shrips 4 points5 points  (3 children)

          You suck at golf.

          [–]cam18_2000 8 points9 points  (2 children)

          That's why I'm an Ex golfer. It's cheaper to do it sitting on my ass with a PS3, the clothes are less ridiculous too.

          [–]ohnozombees[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

          Especially cause: I was this 20 year old kid who wanted to be a doctor, who was super versed on her procedure and really calm (not my first surgery by any means). He tried to reassure me during our consult "We will take good care of you" and I was reassuring him that I wasn't frightened and I was sure he would".

          And we chatted about the method and about his family and my school...

          I was genuinely interested in hearing about his specialty.

          Now imagine that, instead of just 'someone', it's that nice, cheerful girl who's cracking jokes and asks about your kids and cares about your day and she's woken up screaming, heart rate through the roof, incoherently screaming "I was awake!" and it's -your- fault.

          Poor bastard probably went home and tried to drown himself in vodka.

          [–]Waffle-Stomps 746 points747 points  (2 children)

          I looked at the doctor and snarled, "You -suck- at golf!"

          Perfect.

          [–]ohnozombees[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

          You should have heard the quips I was cracking before I was sedated. I was flirting with the nurses, for gods sake. Joking about "full moons" and how "generally when people see me this undressed, they've bought me dinner first-- but we'll call it even if you're the one who delivers the jello".

          Like, I'm naturally sassy, but yeah. That golf comment was pretty good, given the circumstances.

          [–]mynameisalso 53 points54 points  (17 children)

          I also dealt with ptsd from something very similar. Don't let it eat at you like I did. I tried for years to push it down. But it'd come up in very violent outburst. Traditional therapy isn't for me, I don't like talking to people (except online bc of the anonymity) but PTSD cost me my marriage and many friends. So find what works for you if you haven't already. For me it's tinkering like building robots, gardening, and painting. Although I'm not good at any it really takes the built up tension away when you pick your own vegetables or make a robot that can run away from light.

          [–]disgruntledhousewife 50 points51 points  (10 children)

          I have PTSD from something similar where they put me in a medical coma due to pain, but I could still feel everything but not scream or move or open my eyes. It's a haunting experience that few can even understand. Oddly enough I too have found insane comfort in gardening and landscaping, that it's quickly became my go to hobby despite never having done it before.

          [–]Predictive 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          I plan on spending the rest of my life in therapy... and eating fresh vegetables. :)

          [–]swolemedic 5 points6 points  (4 children)

          Please explain? I have never seen someone in a medical coma for pain management, and I've seen some shit. Even the reallly hurt in burn units aren't in a medical coma unless there's intracranial pressure from trauma/burn

          [–]jakielim 25 points26 points  (6 children)

          How did the doctor react to that?

          [–]ThiefOfDens 188 points189 points  (5 children)

          Probably tried to correct his backswing.

          [–][deleted] 261 points262 points  (20 children)

          I dunno why, but I imagine that if I went through this, the way I would deal with it is to eat some ice cream. You should try it out and see where that takes you

          [–]YouKnow_Pause 134 points135 points  (9 children)

          You should trust this gut, he's a doctor.

          [–]faintpremonition 61 points62 points  (7 children)

          Yeah, but his scope of practice may not help.

          [–]cackmuncher 108 points109 points  (1 child)

          His scope of practice involves giggles, fairies, and ice cream. At a time like this, no other doc will do.

          [–]AndrewNeo 28 points29 points  (4 children)

          At least he's not an anesthesiologist.

          [–]tetsuo_z_shima 21 points22 points  (3 children)

          Well apparently that other guy wasn't much of one either.

          Seriously though, I bet it may not even be that guys fault just drugs affect different people differently.

          [–]bacon_catz_karma 39 points40 points  (8 children)

          i want a prescription from Dr. GiggleFairies

          [–]NerdCrush 53 points54 points  (7 children)

          There is only a few states where he can prescribe it.

          [–]BiggerJ 74 points75 points  (8 children)

          What did the lead surgeon say after you snarled that at him? How long did you stay angry at the people involved? Did you ever desire revenge, or feel like you were likely to get violent given the chance?

          If you were to ever meet the anesthesiologist, what do you think you'd say or do?

          [–]ThiefOfDens 154 points155 points  (2 children)

          Do you have... An anger fetish?

          [–]BiggerJ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          I just can't help but wonder about how people feel and act in this sort of extreme situation.

          [–]ohnozombees[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

          I should clarify: the lead surgeon was the one with the shitty golf swing. The anaesthesiologist was this sweet little Chinese doctor who, during the consult, tried to reassure me that "We will take care of you".

          I actually told him not to worry, it wasn't my first surgery and I wasn't frightened. I was joking the whole way in with the nurses, telling them to be careful when they flipped me over, since it was a full moon (not wearing much under them scrubs).

          But they looked like... the colour of concrete.

          And I was never angry--I knew it was an accident, they hadn't done it on purpose. I didn't want to ruin the career of good doctors, and I'd NEVER dream of revenge. I'd never want anyone to feel what I did, and I'd NEVER dream of inflicting it on anyone else.

          If I'd ever meet him again, I'd ask him to please see if he could help me out with the therapy and PTSD bills. Thats the only thing I resent. They broke me, and I'm paying $17k a year for therapy, and that's coin I don't have. That makes me a bit upset.

          [–][deleted]  (25 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]ohnozombees[S] 430 points431 points  (23 children)

            Yes.

            Both physically and psychologically. I seen some shit, but that by far took the cake.

            [–]Lurking_Still 88 points89 points  (12 children)

            I had my wrist (both bones) set with failed local anesthetic, so I have a slight inkling of the enormity of pain that you had to deal with.

            You have my condolences, and respect.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

              [–]ohnozombees[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

              Sure.

              The incision felt like when you're really really cold and then run a needle over your skin. Like, a cold prickly-itchiness. Then, the pain hit and it was white and hot and it felt like horror. Like, if you've ever seen a fish gasping for breath? It felt like that.

              The feeling of the clamps was a focused pain, like this bone-deep ache combined with a sharp coldhot pain.

              The bone saw was..... well, that sucked a lot. Imagine friction and vibration literally in your bones.... combined with this horror of knowing what they're doing and this brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr of the saw just whizzing away, and the smell of it, like almost a dry greasy hot smell. Ozone?

              And if you want to hear the sound I was making, go over to the morbidreality page and find a video of someone screaming in panic. That's pretty much it.

              0/10 do not recommend

              [–]Lickingyourmomsanus 163 points164 points  (54 children)

              Figures I'm having a procedure to remove a lipoma on Monday and this AMA pops up to scare me....

              [–]ohnozombees[S] 191 points192 points  (38 children)

              Make sure to bring it up to your anaesthesiologist. It might seem rude, but do it anyways. If an EKG or whatever is available (a brain wave monitor??) insist on it.

              Also, you do not know how badly I want to make a gallows humor Hunger Games joke. Nevermindme, though. You're going to be just fine!

              [–]Cryoglobulin 270 points271 points  (32 children)

              Hi I am an anesthesiologist. This is a really good ama and I want to thank you for having the courage to do it. I also want to mention to the poster above that while it is common to hear from patients about their fear of being awake during surgery, it is actually not common at all for that to happen. I realize the incidence is higher than people previously believed but over all it is extremely rare. Also, an EKG is not routine at all as it has been clinical proven to be no more effective than other means to ascertain depth of anesthesia. We dont just give one drug to keep you asleep and its actually a fairly significant cocktail of drugs of various classes that act on different receptors so the chance of you being resistant to all of them is very low.

              Edit: EEG not EKG as someone pointed out. Sorry typing fast on phone. Either that or because I went to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College.

              [–]Kellianne 42 points43 points  (7 children)

              I'm glad to hear it is common for patients to express that fear to their anesthesiologist because I did and felt like I was insulting him. I have several fears about surgeries and waking up during is easily the least likely to actually happen.

              [–]Cryoglobulin 95 points96 points  (5 children)

              I dont mind when patients ask me questions. Older generations of anesthrsiologists may not like their authority challenged or questioned but as someone who is aware of whats out there on the internet, I actually relish opportunities to educate. Its not informed consent unless you inform.

              [–]ZetsuXIII 32 points33 points  (0 children)

              This. I like this. Next time I have surgery, I want you. Ill fly you to Texas, I don't care.

              [–]EgonIsGod 228 points229 points  (39 children)

              I am so glad to have never experienced this, though I did wake up during a retroparitaneal lymphadectomy. Standard procedure is to tape the eyes shut so they don't dry out, and you're on a respirator of course, but the tape wasn't on tight enough so I was able to get one eye open.

              Kind of a mindfuck to look down and see your intestines unspooled onto the gurney next to you. Thankfully I was numbed up quite well, so as soon as one of the nurses saw me wink at her I was knocked back out. Anesthesia is a weird thing. Some people are less susceptible than others, and that can make it difficult for the anesthesiologist to knock you deep enough and keep you there safely.

              [–]explainittomeplease 82 points83 points  (0 children)

              as soon as one of the nurses saw me wink at her I was knocked back out.

              That must have been weird as hell for her. "Uhhh, doctor, the patient is coming on to me. Dope him up more."

              [–]ShallowBasketcase 138 points139 points  (0 children)

              Kind of a mindfuck to look down and see your intestines unspooled onto the gurney next to you.

              Fucking lord.

              [–]ohnozombees[S] 219 points220 points  (25 children)

              Exactly! It's actually fairly common for people to have some degree of awareness, but most of the time it's something like Egon's experiences, where the sleeper wears off, but the analgesic keeps working. It's especially common in cases where low doses of anaesthetic are required to avoid putting the patient into a coma or something. Cesarians and, horrifically, after bodily trauma, I think I read somewhere.

              But figures I'd be the like, 0.001 dude that gets the worst case scenario. And what's worse is, I remember having that exact thought.

              "Oh, come onnnnn"

              [–]EgonIsGod 134 points135 points  (15 children)

              Yeah. There was an AMA by a guy about a year ago. He had been working with a tractor and basically had his legs pulled apart so far that his pelvis and stomach was ripped in half. Kind of like a wishbone snapping.

              He was only around 16 when it happened, and when he was taken to the hospital (low chances of survival due to trauma and blood loss), his parents told the doc to do whatever was necessary to maximize the chances of survival. That meant he underwent the repair surgery completely paralyzed but with no anesthesia or pain medication.

              Somehow he retained his sanity. I have no idea how.

              There is just some shit you'd rather be asleep for or die instead. I know what you mean, and I'm sorry you went through this. Were it me in that position I'd be going doctor hunting, but then again I'm probably more than a little psychotic. I have no idea how a rational person would respond.

              [–]3404 63 points64 points  (2 children)

              Sweet Jesus. Do you have a link to this post?

              [–][deleted] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

              This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy.

              If you would like to do the same, add the browser extension GreaseMonkey to Firefox and add this open source script.

              Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.

              [–][deleted]  (2 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]theoddrussian69 372 points373 points  (63 children)

                Did you get financial compensation?

                [–]ModernMrDarcy 95 points96 points  (10 children)

                OP said no suit was filed against the hospital, although with the counseling costs for the PTSD that might not have been the right decision.

                [–][deleted] 320 points321 points  (9 children)

                OP where did you go? Are you paralyzed?

                [–]jakielim 100 points101 points  (1 child)

                Don't worry, he she can hear you.

                But he's she's still paralyzed.

                [–]Sandy_Emm 32 points33 points  (0 children)

                *she, apparently.

                [–]CremasterReflex 46 points47 points  (5 children)

                It's not necessarily the doctor's fault. Sometimes this shit just happens.

                [–]Miss-Omnibus 331 points332 points  (101 children)

                My mother had this twice, during corneal transplant surgery... fuuuuuuck that. <hugs for you my friend>

                [–]ohnozombees[S] 585 points586 points  (11 children)

                Twice?

                Jesus christ, fuck that. Take the goddamn eye, I'll use echolocation to get around.

                I can't imagine having to do it twice. Please give my best to your mom, she's a better woman than I. <hugs for you and your momma cause holy jesus damn>

                [–]past0037 197 points198 points  (2 children)

                There was an article published this month in Anesthesiology talking about increased risk factors, specifically in individuals who have experienced it in the past. Make sure the next time you need general anesthesia that the entire medical team is aware ahead of time of your past experiences.

                [–]Miss-Omnibus 58 points59 points  (4 children)

                Pretty much. She did an AMA awhile back about being blind - She pretty much can't see for various reasons. She has elected not to undergo any transplants anymore, not because of the aneasthetic thing, but it's too disheartening when shit goes downhill after the first few weeks. Thanks for the hugs I'll pass them on.<3

                [–][deleted] 116 points117 points  (41 children)

                People are often given local anesthesia and relaxers but are still purposely still awake for corneal transplants. OP should have been knocked out.

                [–]ohnozombees[S] 243 points244 points  (32 children)

                I was supposed to be--- someone sorta screwed the pooch with mine.

                But still--the concept of it happening twice... fuck that, I'd rather die. Literally, no hyperbole. I've got it written into my general med file; if there's a chance that giving me anaesthetic will kill me, but the alternative is pain of that level?

                Dope me up and I'll take it up with the devil.

                [–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (9 children)

                I'm so sorry this happened to you! My husband is an anesthesiologist and I'm probably going to show him your AMA tomorrow and then ask if he's ever seen shit like this happen.

                [–]mynameisalso 54 points55 points  (19 children)

                I totally agree with you. I've lost half my foot in a work accident I of course also felt everything it was not a clean cut but instead it was squeezed off. Its a pain that is indescribable, and like you said I'd sooner die than feel that again. It also makes me hate people in physical therapy who say they have a 10/10 on the pain scale but are just sitting there. 10/10 and you're screaming and shaking with barely any ability to form complete words let alone sentences.

                [–]p_iynx 60 points61 points  (9 children)

                The problem is that when you're in terrible pain on a daily basis, the scale is different. Your tolerance for small things goes wayyyy down a lot of the time because your body is in pain every minute of the day. I'll be shaking and sweating and crying once a week, but I've had periods (not rare, for me) where it is screaming pain where I'm in bed seizing and crying and asking someone to kill me please.

                But that doesn't make the daily pain any less of a 10, if that makes sense? It's like, relative to what you are able to handle that day, and tolerance for pain is way lower when you're experiencing "small pain" every second.

                Note: I have fibromyalgia, so this is constant overwhelming sensitivity to all stimuli. Noise, smells, bright lights, vibrant colors, diet, chemical exposure of any kind...it all just adds to the inability to mentally "shield" from pain. I feel raw inside. On bad days, it's like someone took sandpaper to my brain and my nerves and my emotions. :/

                [–][deleted] 113 points114 points  (46 children)

                Jesus Christ that sounds like a horror movie.

                Can you describe what pain on that level is like? Why didn't you pass out?

                [–]ohnozombees[S] 535 points536 points  (45 children)

                It was! Awake, with Canada's own Hayden Christiansen. It might actually be worse torture than what happened to me, though, I wouldn't recommend it.

                The pain... I can't put it into words, without getting flowery.

                So remember, I can hear them, right? I just can't see them (eyes taped closed, I can remember the tickle of my eyelash against the tape), on my stomach. Everything is black.

                Ive had three surgeries prior, so this is no big deal for me. I'm thinking Im in the recovery room. Okay---but... why cant I breathe?!!? Panic, flail, manage to figure out how to manage and relax enough to let the machine breathe for me. Okay, I can handle this.

                So I'm just awake a little early--that explains why I'm on my stomach. And then I hear, "Nurse, scalpel please."

                And then I realized very quickly that things were about to get really ugly if I didn't do anything. So I talk myself through it. "Move your toes." they dont move. "Next muscle." Nothing. Oh god. "Fingers! Don't panic, just wiggle your fingers." I try, so hard, but nothing happens. That pounding is the sound of your heart in your ears. "Okay. Scream. Scream, please let them hear me" And nothing came out. And then I remember thinking, "Okay. Panic."

                and then I felt a tickle along the back of my ankle. It felt like when your leg goes numb and you drag a nail over if, or a sharp needle over skin, that sort of focused itchy feeling. And I thought, "Oh thank god". I thought I couldn't feel it---and then I felt it as cold. This intense, horrific dead-of-february-with-wet-hair cold... and then just the worst white heat ever.

                I did. And always, the pain was enough to keep me awake.

                [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                  Why did I read that...

                  [–]crumplefoot 56 points57 points  (6 children)

                  I had L2-L4 vertebrectomy in 2005 to repair a crushed vertebra from a motorcycle accident. While the surgery was a success, the immediate post-op and following 2 weeks was the most intense pain I have ever felt, due to the damaged sciatic nerve that had a shard of broken bone digging into it just completely freaking out.

                  Your white hot pain remark just suddenly brought it back for me - the pain shooting from my back all the way down to my toes every 20-30 seconds for a good 2 weeks, morphine doing absolutely nothing to quell that. I've tried to describe it to people, even my mom who was there post-op and you can tell when someone just has no frame of reference for that intensity of pain.

                  I'm extremely sorry you had to experience what you did, and I think it takes incredible strength to talk about it here. I'm sure you're spoiling the hell out of that pooch!

                  [–]LT21Titans27 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                  I'm having a discectomy in a few weeks to take pressure from ruptured discs off my sciatic nerve, it hurts so fucking bad I can't even explain it. Hope your doing better now

                  [–]apopheniac1989 16 points17 points  (0 children)

                  Oh fuck. I just want to give you an internet hug. No one deserves that at all. There's probably no words to describe that kind of experience, so there are probably no words I can say to help, but I hope it helps in a tiny tiny way to know that I feel nothing but profound sympathy for you.

                  Seriously, that sucks.

                  [–]ohnozombees[S] 335 points336 points  (65 children)

                  Hey guys! I haven't abandoned the thread, just dealing with a minor crisis at the moment. One of my stepbrother's (pregaming) friends let my new rescue out, we just got her back. I'll be back as soon as I get her settled, just bear with me!

                  [–]ohnozombees[S] 538 points539 points  (64 children)

                  http://tinypic.com/r/293dsfn/5

                  and we're back! Meet Chloe, everyone. She's the dog I've been prescribed for the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. She and I are going to be starting training soon.

                  Sorry, didn't mean to disappear!

                  But back to AMA :D

                  [–]krizmac 100 points101 points  (5 children)

                  Think of all the $ we would ave on pharmaceuticals if they just prescribed more dogs!

                  [–]KevinAtSeven 59 points60 points  (1 child)

                  This comment brought to you by Purina.

                  [–]Bobosaurus 453 points454 points  (9 children)

                  Please use imgur, you monster.

                  [–]isactuallyspiderman 138 points139 points  (0 children)

                  Tinypic??! What is this, the dark ages

                  [–]gigabyte898 73 points74 points  (2 children)

                  Now the tags for ALL the pictures she posted are "Use" "Imgur" "Please". You happy now?

                  [–]xereeto 42 points43 points  (0 children)

                  Except one of them is tagged "use imgur you fucking twat"

                  [–]FrankManic 30 points31 points  (1 child)

                  OP Disapears, everyone assumes OP will surely deliver, OP RETURNS WITH ADORABLE PUPPY TO DELIVER And somehow, after two hours, you've only got about 60 karma for this?

                  [–]ElianeP 45 points46 points  (5 children)

                  I'm so sorry for you.. I had surgery a few months ago and my biggest fear was the anesthesia rather than the surgery itself. What were your thoughts during the surgery? (2.5 hours!) Have you managed the pain at the end of surgery, after having felt it so much? A kind of desensitization? After how long did you realize that you were awake?

                  Thank you for this AMA, I hope that you will overcome with time this terrible experience, and wish you the best for the futur. (Hugs)

                  [–]ohnozombees[S] 83 points84 points  (4 children)

                  Yeah, the anaesthetics are the scariest, hands down. I hope you're doing better now, though?

                  My thoughts varied. Sometimes I sang. Sometimes I recited passages from books. Sometimes I remembered places I had visited-- but it was like looking at pictures, not being in the action.

                  The pain wasn't worst at the end, it was the absolute worst when I heard the bone saw power up like the electric toothbrush from hell. That was the moment I hit rock bottom.

                  And it only took me like, half a minute, cause I tried to move and couldn't.

                  Thanks! You too!

                  [–]ElianeP 14 points15 points  (1 child)

                  Thanks for asking, my surgery was for the lungs and they are in excellent health now! Having been awake, I think I would have sang Guns N' Roses and Queen's songs all along, just to be a least a little happy. ;)

                  You have a lot of courage to talk about it, maybe this will help your healing. Thanks again for the answers! And dogs are the best healers!

                  [–]Misterpuppy 83 points84 points  (20 children)

                  AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

                  I'm so sorry. Did you sue? Do you have PTSD?

                  [–]ohnozombees[S] 147 points148 points  (19 children)

                  I do have PTSD (pretty severe case, actually), no I didn't sue (because I was so traumatized I couldn't imagine having people try to 'prove me wrong', as I knew the hospital's lawyers would undoubtedly try to do. Now, with psych bills piling up, I sort of wish I had!).

                  And thanks! It makes for a good spooky story, for sure.

                  [–]BiggerJ 41 points42 points  (5 children)

                  Is it still possible for you to sue, or has the statute of limitations run out?

                  [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]tdavis1904 108 points109 points  (32 children)

                    I get sleep paralysis sometimes and thats scary enough. I feel like I cant breathe sometimes and like km chocking. I couldnt imagine having surgery done while your body is asleep and mind is wide awake. Sorry you had to go through this. I would think someone would have a heart attack during that! Sooo scary!

                    [–]ohnozombees[S] 169 points170 points  (9 children)

                    Actually, apparently I did do something similar! As soon as my body was able, apparently my heart rate shot sky high and my heart or something went wonky for a bit. Apparently everyone was horrified.

                    And I'm sorry about night terrors! That sounds horrible!

                    [–]Excelsior_Smith 75 points76 points  (2 children)

                    And I'm sorry about night terrors! That sounds horrible!

                    Says the nicest person ever to endure being operated on without any anesthesia. Good on you!

                    [–]sleevey 50 points51 points  (11 children)

                    Did you ever get into a state where the pain was so bad that it became something else, just like an overwhelming sensation that wasn't really pain any more? IDK if that makes sense, I just heard someone talking about something like that.

                    Sounds horrific.

                    [–]RileyTrodd 141 points142 points  (12 children)

                    Be careful with links, some people might link you gore to fuck with you.

                    [–]ohnozombees[S] 237 points238 points  (11 children)

                    Holy crap, please nobody do this. That would be a monumentally uncool thing to do. (And then the AMA would get boring without me there!)

                    [–]KitsBeach 112 points113 points  (7 children)

                    Just to warn you, /u/nc863id and /u/ShallowBasketcase have posted gorey gifs. If I find any more I'll come back and edit warnings for ya :)

                    -One deleted

                    [–]cManks 21 points22 points  (3 children)

                    I sprained my ankle today and I've been complaining all day. I come across this and now I feel like a dick.

                    [–]rob2060 11 points12 points  (5 children)

                    I woke up in the middle of throat surgery but unlike you was able to move. I raised my hand to signal the nurse I was awake (couldn't speak due to the tube, eyes were taped shut). I felt her push my hand back down. I was trying hard not to gag and keep calm. I raised my hand again. She pushed it back down again. I raised it a third time; she started to press it back down. I flipped my hand over and squeezed hers. I heard, "Oh, shit. He's awake!" After that I remember nothing.

                    [–]ohnozombees[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                    Glurgh... How did she not realize you were awake the first two times you raised your hand? Like, I'd be flipping out by then.

                    But I'm glad you're okay, rob!

                    [–][deleted]  (7 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]kraykay 17 points18 points  (2 children)

                      I've seen this question asked a few times but have yet to see the answer. I honestly feel that it is important enough to ask again.

                      Other than turning the color of concrete, how did the surgeon react to finding out you recalled his golf scores?

                      [–]ohnozombees[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                      Sorry, I'll answer you here! (I was not expecting this to blow up like it did--did someone mention front-page? wow!).

                      From what I recall, he went that sickly shade, and then basically ordered the nurse to move me away from the other patients, and to sedate me. The records say he explained it to me, but I have no memory of that. I remember waking up, screaming my head off, and then after that I expect I was really well drugged (ironic, they got it right that time!).

                      I do remember that they said they were going to move me to a private room (probably because I was scaring the other post-ops), but that my mom was going to have to go home because it was nearly past visiting hours. Well let me fucking tell you, that shit was not gonna fly. So I said "if she goes I go" and they said "you can't leave" and so I think what I said was, in effect, "best find a double bed, then".

                      That sticks with me, that they'd just horrifically traumatized a twenty year old and because she was the age of majority, they were going to send away her only support system. I remember feeling so betrayed, and a little paranoid that they'd try to give me a drug to make me forget (which yay thanks, but also sneaky bitches). I don't know if they would have or not, but I wasn't taking the chance.

                      As it happens, I left the next day after the nurse told me I was faking it, so it didn't do much in the end.

                      One does hope that he practiced his swing, though.

                      [–]Ded0099 36 points37 points  (10 children)

                      Did they offer any type of compensation or was it a "lol sorry, get well soon, by the way you still need to pay us for the surgery!!!!!"

                      [–]cherieish 48 points49 points  (9 children)

                      OP is Canadian, so the surgery wouldn't have cost her anything.

                      [–]Ulftar 30 points31 points  (1 child)

                      Technically we all paid for her surgery when we bought booze at the bar this weekend.

                      [–]FlirtySanchez 37 points38 points  (1 child)

                      At least they got the "sorry" part right.

                      [–]bpowers5211 28 points29 points  (8 children)

                      I'm an icu nurse and I will not keep patients on versed or norc without fentanyl running for this very reason. Fuck what if the fentanyl hasn't been working? I use bis monitors and train of fours but what if??? At least I'm generous with the analgesics lol. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

                      [–]Jewknowwhatimean 17 points18 points  (12 children)

                      I'm sorry that happened to you. I was wondering if you could explain the procedure? I feel like since this has happened more than once, they would develop a more effective way of ensuring the patient is fully asleep before paralyzing them? But I'm completely unaware of the procedure, so I don't know if it's not a separate process for the anesthesia and paralyzing a patient. Sorry if I'm rambling. I hope you will eventually be able to be free of the resulting effects of this experience.

                      [–]etomidator 61 points62 points  (11 children)

                      Hope OP doesn't mind if I comment here. The procedure for going under a general anaesthetic (most of the time) is basically to get the patient onto the table, put on monitoring, and then fill their lungs with oxygen. This is important, because once the anaesthetic is given they stop breathing, and having large amounts of stored oxygen gives the anaesthetist more time to put them on the breathing machine before the oxygen levels in the blood get too low. The anaesthetic (usually propofol) is given to put them to sleep, and the muscle relaxant is given to make it easier to put the breathing tube in - it's not needed for all surgeries, because if you have enough anaesthetic on board you won't move during the procedure even without muscle relaxants. The problem with the muscle relaxant is that it takes several minutes to work, while the propofol takes about 20 seconds, so many anaesthetists give the relaxant at the same time as the propofol - you want the relaxant working properly before the oxygen stores run out, so you can put them on the breathing machine in time. This means that the relaxant is given before you know for sure the anaesthetic is working. This isn't normally a problem, because the doses we give to healthy people are generous enough to account for individual variation, but because we have to use less for sick, bleeding, elderly or pregnant people, and because drug users and alcoholics are more resistant, these people are more prone to being aware. For most healthy people, awareness occurs later in the surgery, due to inadequate depth of anaesthesia (if something really painful gets done to you unexpectedly, you may not have enough anaesthetic on board), inadequate monitoring, or equipment failure. The three ways there are of convincing yourself a patient is asleep are looking at their vitals (HR/BP sky high, patient is crying etc are bad signs) or movement (only if the relaxant has worn off/wasn't given), looking at the concentration of the anaesthetic gas they breathe out, and using a brainwave monitor. For most anaesthetics, the last two are equivalent, and even using these appropriately the rate of awareness is somewhere between 1 in 1000 - 15000. Retrospectively analysing these cases, most of the time there's a clear cause (i.e. The brainwave monitor said they weren't deep enough but no-one believed it - in practise, not too hard to imagine, because the monitors are often fiddly and get interference from everything), but there are very rare cases where we just don't know why

                      EDIT TL;DR Awareness is rare unless you're an alcoholic or dying. We have ways of making sure you're asleep. Sometimes they don't work

                      [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (6 children)

                      EDIT TL;DR Awareness is rare unless you're an alcoholic or dying. We have ways of making sure you're asleep. Sometimes they don't work

                      What about for people on buperenorphine/naloxone(suboxone)? As in, very high-affinity opioids/opioid antagonist combo, prescribed for pain management to avoid heavy-duty opioids or abuse(or just for opioid abuse).

                      Does cross-tolerance exist here? Will the opioid antagonist or buperenorphine(partial agonist, high affinity) effect the anesthetic given? I've always wanted to ask someone who would REALLY KNOW the answers to this question because I will eventually need to have surgery and I take it for low-on-the-scale chronic pain associated with crohn's disease(hence needing to have the surgery), and I am also at high-risk for anesthesia awareness in other ways, from what IS known about it and all the known risk-factors including race/genetics.

                      Every doctor I talk to sort of shrugs it off and I almost ALWAYS get the impression that their real thought process is "I don't know but enough fentanyl should do the job for pain-killing in an emergency"(or propofol, whatever they are going to use if they need to break through the bupe.), or "if you're ever in an accident dulling pain won't be my biggest concern in those moments in the ER but I don't want to tell you that because we're not in that situation yet and you have no reason to be worried about it right now" - because I also take part in ultra-high risk sports like snowboarding/motorcycling. I almost always get that impression - they don't really know, but as they aren't the anesthesiologist they're not going to worry about it or give ME any reason to worry about it, so they just tell me to make the doctors aware. I just want to have a cogent explanation, even if you don't know for sure because you don't know my particular medical history or have all the relevant information.

                      I've never been put under, but I have been on several occasions medicated heavily with things like fentanyl/IV "versed" for a procedure(central line placements) or dilaudid IV(for pain in the hospital) and those things did not put me to "sleep"(even the normal opioid tiredness), or knock me out, or fix the pain I was suffering, even the IV Versed(which I think is just IV valium, right?) hardly did anything to me when I was going for a procedure and they had to give me another shot of it, whereas I speak to "normal people" who get a shot of versed and forget the whole procedure after it happens to them.

                      What should I tell my doctors and be sure to mention to the anesthesiologist? How do I make sure they know I'm serious and not just drug-seeking when I tell them "I need more than normal people"? It's hard to believe because I am very low weight(skinny, because I have crohn's disease - not because I'm a drug addict, lol).

                      [–]etomidator 36 points37 points  (4 children)

                      So, I'll try to do the best I can without actually giving medical advice. Blah blah, disclaimer blah. Buprenorphine is tricky because it's quite controversial in Anaesthetics. Because it's a 'partial agonist' if it occupies a receptor then it will give pain relief, but theoretically less than a full agonist i.e. Morphine. Also it binds preferentially to receptors than say Morphine. So, classically Anaesthetists have thought that if someone's on Buprenorphine (Subutex) then they will need huge doses of morphine for pain relief, and so if there's a way to stop it before surgery then that would make things less confusing. Alternatively, keep people on whatever they usually take and then add in whatever we need on top of that. The problem, as you've pointed out, is that the amount of narcotic you need in this situation can be huge. This makes a lot of doctors and nurses uncomfortable, so there is a tendency to not give enough pain relief in these cases, which is suboptimal. The problem is systemic - i.e. even if I know you'll need heaps, it's difficult to explain this to every doctor/nurse that will look after you.

                      More recently though, some of us are coming around to the idea that it's actually more complicated than that. So, for example, I've started using Subutex in some patients for pain relief after surgery, and some places have started putting it in the PCA (buttons patients can push to give themselves a dose of pain relief). At these doses (up to 1.6mg/day, compared to like 16mg/day for drug treatment programs) it seems to work like a full agonist, but with less side effects.

                      Anyway, whatever happens, people on these medications ARE much more likely to have significant problems with pain relief after surgery, or pre-surgery in the case of say a fractured arm. The best way to get around this is to block the nerves themselves - so, having a brachial plexus block for arm surgery, a spinal or epidural for abdominal or leg surgery etc. When these techniques work, it doesn't matter how much pain relief people are on usually, because it's working by a different mechanism. But, this relies on you having an anaesthetist that has kept up their skill in these procedures. And a surgeon that allows them enough time pre-surgery to discuss and commence this.

                      In regards to awareness, chronic drug use (including OxyContin, Targin, Suboxone) is a risk factor. Put simply, the doses of anaesthesia (propofol/Sevoflurane etc) we use are about 0.5 - 0.7 of what you'd need to keep you asleep by itself. The reason we only need to use that 0.5 - 0.7 is because by adding in morphine/fentanyl we reduce the amount we need. So you can see that if someone is going to need huge doses of morphine, and we give them the usual dose, it won't have as much of an anaesthetic-sparing effect, and so they are more likely to be 'too light'.

                      How to discuss this with your Anaeesthetist? Most of us are professionals with a real interest in doing the best thing for the patient, and simply volunteering your medication history and specific concerns when they meet you pre-op should be enough for us to work out a plan. If they don't offer it, ask if a nerve block or epidural would be appropriate. And, quite frankly, if they come across as an uncaring pompous dick, mention that immediate family members have had awareness under anaesthesia - that should at least get their attention.

                      TL;DR Long-term medications for pain relief and drug withdrawal can predispose you to awareness and make post-operative analgesia much more different. There are ways to get around it if you have a professional Anaesthetist.

                      [–]DANDANBAMBAM 77 points78 points  (15 children)

                      I am an anaesthetic practitioner working in the UK . I have 6 years experience and I have worked with thousands of patients. I know a lot of anaesthetists and anaesthetic practitioners and technicians. I do not know of one case where this happened throughout my career. This guy was extremely unlucky and the person to blame would be the anaesthesia team. I have seen times when the patient is "light", so they don't have enough analgesia or anaesthetic on board to maintain adequate anaesthesia. When this happens they are extremely tachycardic , they're blood pressure is through the roof , they may sweat . This along with the excellent anaesthetic monitoring we use now is enough for any moderately trained anaesthetic person to realise what's going on . In my opinion this comes down to poor training, no grasp of the fundamentals of anaesthesia and probably a little apathy.

                      [–]hellyeahclare 48 points49 points  (4 children)

                      That's not neccessarily true and is unfair to the anaesthetic team who looked after this patient. It can happen with little to no symptoms and for various reasons.

                      If you've never seen it happen, then what the fuck are you talking about? You're taking an educated guess. As an anaesthetic practitioner (I assume you are an ODP/anaesthetic nurse, like myself) you should know that that isn't always the case.

                      The patient being "light" and having accidental awareness aren't the same thing. Again, you should know this.

                      [–]pylori 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                      I totally agree with you. It seems they were making more of a misinformed statement than one based on education or experience. You sound like a great ODP to work with. I've had the misfortunate of seeing some terrible ones in action, whose basic science knowledge was severely lacking and then they try to be cocky about it. I don't expect them to have the same knowledge as an anaesthetist, but if they then try to speak with authority about anaesthesia they better have their shit together.

                      [–]IntergalacticMoose 17 points18 points  (1 child)

                      This is exactly the kind of insder reply I was looking for when I clicked this thread... I've always wondered if it was more likely a case of negligence or simply a particularly "special" patient reaction.

                      [–]pylori 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                      the person to blame would be the anaesthesia team

                      I don't think that's really fair. If you are an anaesthetist you should be aware that some people are naturally more resistant to anaesthetics than others, which is why they always try to screen for these sorts of things during the anaesthetic pre-op. The same thing can apply to malignant hyperthermia, they try to screen for it but it's not always possible to detect when someone may have an adverse reaction to it.

                      And when you're monitoring vital signs, some of the changes that may indicate awareness can also be normal reactions to the body undergoing an invasive medical procedure, even under anaesthesia. As for anaesthetic monitoring, I just really hope you're not talking about BIS.